Feign Death

July 14, 2011

Another (Better, IMO) attempt at WoW parodies.

A Parody of Jason DaRulo’s “Don’t Wanna Go Home”

This is about being an awesome hunter; doing all the things huntards don’t understand. No boss fight is specifically mentioned, this is just a genaric raid scenario– any resemblance to bosses living or dead is purely coincidental… lol.

Also: I’m aware the video…er, isn’t much. It’s more than nothing! It’s also not a whole lot more than a couple PuGs and training dummies. Sorry!

Free download from the SoundCloud link on my channel page.

Check it out, what we fightin’?
Here I come, Here I come
Where’s my pet? Change my Aspect
Cheetah’s dumb, Cheetah’s dumb
And this spell, on my bar? Cooldown’s up, Rapid Fire!
The first thing on my mind is that we’ll own!

From the dragon to the floor
This rogue is jumpin’, into the fire
Is it phase one, or is it enraged?
1-Tank, 2-Heals, 3-Deeps, 4….
We gonna light this boss up-

Aggro, I got aggro
Boss turned around, so I drop to the floor
Wrath it and my pet starts to grow
Watchin’ that threat ‘cuz we’re goin’ hardcore!

Shoot the bosses down
With my bow-oh-oh-oh
Burn them down
To the flo’-oh-oh-oh
Aggro, I got aggro
Boss turned around, so I drop to the floor

We fight the whole battle but it ain’t over, over
Ev’rybody jump out of the nova, nova
Sting it in the rear,
Shoot it on the run,
No matter which spec I’m rockin’…
Damn this is fun!

From the dragon to the floor
This rogue is jumpin’, into the fire
Is it flyin’, or is it grounded?
1-Mark, 2-Sting, 3-Shoot, 4….
We gonna light this boss up-

Aggro, I got aggro
Boss turned around, so I drop to the floor
Wrath it and my pet starts to grow
Watchin’ that threat ‘cuz we’re goin’ hardcore!

Shoot the bosses down
With my bow-oh-oh-oh
Burn them down
To the flo’-oh-oh-oh
Aggro, I got aggro
Boss turned around, so I drop to the floor

I just saw that nasty healer aggro light’n up the meters
Misdirected to the tank and now the boss won’t eat her
Askin’ how to do the pull, baby- I’m the answer
Slide a trap across the floor and now they got no caster
Boss-Is-Ragin’-Shot, Tranq Shot Shot Shot Shot
Awesome’s what I got, what I got, I go shot into the-

Aggro, I got aggro
Boss turned around, so I drop to the floor
Wrath it and my pet starts to grow
Watchin’ that threat ‘cuz we’re goin’ hardcore!

Shoot the bosses down
With my bow-oh-oh-oh
Burn them down
To the flo’-oh-oh-oh
Aggro, I got aggro
Boss turned around, so I drop to the floor


Shameless Self Promotion

July 8, 2011

Hey there Azeroth,
How are you back in my city?
I’m across the Twisting Nether
But tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Fire can’t burn as bright as you
I’ll be back soon…

Hey there Azeroth,
I’m out here in Nagrand studying
You’re right up there in the night sky
But to fly there is fatiguing
Yes it’s true
The air can’t carry me to you
I’ll see this through…

Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
Oh Deathwing is roaming free.
Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
He rose up from the sea

Hey there Azeroth,
How’s it going with the tremors?
Don’t you worry ‘cause I’ve got this
And real soon you’ll be all better
I’ll return
Earth in my blood it makes me yearn
Full of concern…

Hey there Azeroth,
Don’t let Deathwing get you down
Oh he’s got epics in that denture
That he’s using as a frown
So smack him good
Teardrops and mana totem wood
He’ll be withstood

Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
Oh Deathwing is roaming free.
Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
Oh Deathwing is roaming free,

I know the time may go real slow
But I’ll be back sometime you know
And I’ll fix that big ol’ hole down to your core
At the Maelstrom I will hold
The world together, uncontrolled
I’d like to see you better when I can
Azeroth, when I am through
My elemental super glue
Will put you back together once again
I’ll see you then…

Hey there Azeroth,
How are you back in my city?
I’m across the Twisting Nether
But tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do

Fire can’t burn as bright as you
Not from this Outland point of view
Even with your continents all askew
I’m here for you.

Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
Oh Deathwing is roaming free.
Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
Oh Deathwing is roaming free,
To slaughter you and me



Public Service Announcement: The BEST Patch Evar!

June 29, 2011


It’s been awhile since I’ve posted regularly, and probably no one comes here anymore except, apparently, for my post about troll and worgen druid forms… weird. Oh well. In any case, I must present to you… THE BEST PATCH IN HISTORY.

What? No! I don’t care about that big scrub, Ragnaros!

Epic feral weapon? Yeah, I suppose that’s cool, too.

Oh, and it changes Cat form to look crazy epic. Meh, you DO see the picture of a bear at the top of this page, right?

You really don’t know what I’m talking about? Really? Wow. Well then, allow me to educate you!

THEY FINALLY DID IT! We can rearrange our character lists!

Always wanted your toons in order from highest level to lowest? Boom. Done.

Most to least played? Easy.

Alphabetically by name? Race? Class?? Yeah, you can do those too.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT? Er. Um… That’s actually a really good question, but it probably has to do with my tendency to be OCD. Like srsly. My character list has bothered me for years now, but I haven’t wanted to pay $400+ dollars to do something about it… I’ve only got tendencies toward the deep end; I’m not quite there yet. (Granted, I think Etsu thinks I’m all the way in the deep end. She showed me the rearranging thing and I… well, I believe there was squealing and jumping and lots of maniacal grinning involved. Or something.)

In any case, enjoy rearranging your toons, people, I know I will! ……….. If I can figure out what order the need to be in… Alph- no, er, level- no… DANG.



Theory of the Undead

June 7, 2011

So about the release of the new race/class combos to kick off Cata, I started a baby undead hunter because Nathanos Marris was one of the few undead I really liked. I played through their starter areas and off through Silverpine, eventually stalling in Hillsbrad (which probably had a lot to do with those Nightmare Fodder bears. *shudder*)

Now, one of the things that is really big in the lore here, without getting too much in detail for those that haven’t tried it yet, is that Sylvanas is getting to be less and less trusted by… well… everyone. She is especially having her freedom constricted by Garrosh, and there are hints that she is becoming a Really Bad Person. In fact, the evidence for her becoming a Really Bad Person is apparently so compelling that the commentors on this thread from WoW Insider are convinced she’ll soon be a raid boss.

I would like to pause for a few sentences here though and mention that it would be terrible for Sylvanas to become a raid boss. To take Sylvanas’ conflicted character, who has just the right amount of championship balanced against expediency to make her a real member of the Horde, and turn her into a one-dimensional raid boss parroting, “I R EVIL, U DIE” would be a travesty. Now, I’m not saying that everything Sylvanas has done lately is on the up and up, but I definitely think a lot of what she’s been up to is due to the pressure she’s under.

Just because a dog bit your face doesn’t mean it’s a bad animal if you’d backed it into a corner first.

That said, I’d like to continue on with my pet theory for the way undead work and why Sylvanas is actually really cool:

Imagine being undead. I mean it’s kinda hard to really know what it feels to have your ribcage exposed to the open air or to be missing your lower jaw, but try to imagine how hard it would be to continue simple existence. Every physical fiber of your make-up knows that it ought to be inanimate. In the vast majority of cases, your very soul knows that continued existence is unnatural. You generally can’t control the power that keeps your body animated, because it is the cause of your undeath, so you’re stuck walking around without a lot of control over how it’s done.

Also consider how the Lich King keeps (kept) the Scourge under his willpower. How is it that those who fall to the Plague wake up under the thrall of the Lich King? How does his voice stay with them? What is to stop more of them from simply claiming their freedom and walking off if they’re not in his physical grasp? Why does Bolvar need to wear the pointy hat?

My theory is that certain extremely powerful undead have the power to shelter lesser undead with the greater power of their will.

Lesser elementals cannot exist in our plane without their binding bracers, or something similar, to tie them here, but greater elementals can exist independently and summon lessers into existence with them because of their greater power and will. So too can certain undead hold the link to control for other undead.

I submit that once a poor soul is pushed back into existence from death, they must maintain their hold over their actions through power and grim determination or turn into ravening beasts who run in flocks but are otherwise unable to do much more than scrabble forward and moan about braaaaainssss… Not many run-of-the-mill souls are able to do this, however, and so they thrash about in an attempt to control themselves and manage to brush up against great power; enough power to return them to sentience. In most cases pre-ICC this power would be the limitless reach of the Lich King.

The Lich King’s raw power and demented will acts like a breakwater, creating a sheltered spot where the undead does not need to constantly maintain his own will to stay under control of his own wishes. Once there, the Lich King grants some limited liberties back to his new minion and gives it jobs to do, just like a queen bee. In the event that the undead had a slightly more powerful soul, the threat of having the breakwater revoked is enough to keep them under obedience for the sake of continued sentience. The Lich King offers control, at the price of freedom.

What makes Sylvanas neat is that since regaining her own will and fleeing the grasp of the Lich King, she then grew in power until she could make her own breakwater. As her power increased, so did her ability to hold more of the new undead who called themselves Forsaken. They wanted an out from the Lich King’s grasp and she granted it to them. Even better, Sylvanas doesn’t force her will upon those undead behind her breakwater. She gives them control over themselves, as much of their mental faculties as can be recovered, and doesn’t generally do much to limit them. Sylvanas offers control and freedom, at the price of loyalty.

I think she was truly astounded by the actions of Putress not necessarily because what he did was wrong, but because she’d honestly forgotten that undead could exist independently of her or Arthas if they had the grit.

Because of this inherent lack of control and the sheltering effect of greater undead, Bolvar is necessary; he doesn’t offer control, but demands it as a set of chains. The undead that are left in the world and not under Bolvar’s control are weak sparks. Most of them are ravening beasts with no sentient thought, and a few have developed enough control to be personalities and hold a few of their fellows, but that’s about it.

This also explains the Forsakens’ fierce loyalty to Sylvanas, as she is taking on the burden of their collective existence and asking for beans in return.


There is nothing to back up my theory in game or in print. I know this, and this is why it’s my personal theory and not something I’m trying to pass off as Lore. I’ll also freely admit that I started wondering if this is the way the undead work after reading Mercy Thompson books really late at night (Specifically the relationships between Alphas and their wolves). In any case, I hope I’ve at least given you something to think about!

Two final things:

  1. I don’t actually like undead that much; they’re just not really my kind of race. However, I’d rather have Sylvanas as Warchief before Garrosh because I hate me some Garrosh. Like, seriously.
  2. Mercy Thompason books are pretty good. Werewolves, Vampires, and things that go bump… but they’re not written for preteen girls. The main character is 30-something and badass. As the series goes on things start to get more unbelievable, but that’s the nature of a fantasy series. Good books, fast reads, no hidden messages.
Okay, rant over!

And now for something completely different…

March 28, 2011

Warcraft players, this post has nothing to do with anything in Azeroth… My apologies. I’ll probably post real content during the summer, but this pre-professional thing seems to take a lot more work than I generally have time for.  Blogs and such get neglected. For now enjoy a picture of a puppy, and try not to disown me to harshly, kay? When you’ve had three tests and a 4-hour field experience in one day, this sort of thing can preserve one’s sanity.

Okay, I’m silly.

Like, really really silly.

I’m silly about my dog. He’s a sheltie. He’s adorable, smart, athletic, sweet… but then, I could be anyone describing any sheltie. They’re just awesome. But this is a blog about a video game, so how do they overlap? Well, Nintendo just made their new 3DS system, and the new version of Nintendogs has shelties. v_v

Hence, the silliness referred to earlier.

Nintendogs has this feature where the 3DS acts as a pedometer, you start the game go “out” for a “walk”, and then put the system in standby, into your pocket, and then go about your business. The dog in the game “walks” with you through the pedometer feature and if you open it up every once in a while he/she will bring you little gifts lying on the sidewalk. In this manner, you can play a video game and take your pixel puppy for a walk while you take your real puppy for a walk; something my real puppy is thrilled to do.

The ‘prizes’ you get seem to vary with the number of steps you take before opening the machine, so in the interest of science and adding to the community knowledge base (and because the game is so new no one has really tip/info/cheat sites up yet; although the idea of min/maxing a virtual pet game is laughable), I am going to just keep this post up to keep track of what I get and how many steps it took to get there.

Nintendogs + Cats Pedometer Item List

10-99 Basic Biscuits (# Steps/10)
100-999 Upgraded Biscuits (Fish cookie, jerky,Cat grass, etc.) (# Steps/100)
1000 Plastic Bottle, Surprise Cookie, Stuffed Dog Toy, Leather Shoe, Piggy Bank, Premium Shampoo
2000 White Hibiscus Flower, Black Striped Bow
3000 Naptime Record, Surprise Beat Record
4000 ???
5000 Red Hat
6000 Scholar Glasses
7000 ???
8000 Feathered Green Cap
9000 ???
10000 Faux Leopard Collar, Glitzy Collar

Yep. I’m silly.

P.S.- I have no idea what “Surprise” Cookies do. Your dog gets a flowery sparkle when he/she eats it, but other than that? No idea. The tooltip is… very odd.


An Alternate Rotface Strategy – 1 Tank

July 18, 2010

So I run a rather special raid group for my hunter on Tuesday and Saturday nights. Chainmail Underpants is a raid sub-group of <Alea Iacta Est>. If you’re not familiar with the Earthen Ring server, suffice it to say that AIE is an EXTREMELY large guild. As in largest guild in existence, to the best of my knowledge. Last I knew, 5000+ accounts and still growing. (Seriously, the guild breaks the Armory and defies all attempts to  try and do a census upon it.)

If you are familiar with the Earthen Ring server, and not in AIE yourself, you’re probably groaning right now, and I’ve probably lost a good deal of your respect. You see, visitors, everyone who isn’t actually in AIE tends to dislike them. Why? Well… it’s such a big guild that they have their own LFG channel, and tend to only raid with themselves. It seems to me that the kind of members who usually PuG with folks outside the guild are often loners who don’t want the accountability of running with guildies. Therefore, the AIE members who run with non-AIE PuGs tend to suck and the guild gets a bad rap.*

For the sake of developing a raid team that can work together, though, you don’t want to PuG every week, even if you’re drawing from the slightly smaller population from within the guild, thus the raiding teams of which Chainmail Underpants is one, and I run with them. These guys are awesome. They work as a team, adapt to new situations, and experiment with alternate strategies all the time. When wipes happen, even for entirely avoidable reasons, no one gets mad or frustrated or starts yelling. If we’ve been wiping on progression for a long time and it’s almost time to stop, we swap to something easier like Sarth3D to pwn and keep up morale.

But I digress… I brought you here for Rotface, no? Long story short- these guys are willing to experiment, and if it works they celebrate it.

The alternate strategy goes something like this:

(Click the image for full size.)

One of your tanks goes DPS, and the other will be holding Rotface in the middle of the room. Then, your hunter swaps to his offtanking offspec, (something like 53/3/15) and does the job of the kiting tank. Hunter can use whatever pet they feel like for the most part, but should preferably be wearing at least PvP pants with a PvP armor kit on them for the extra stamina. Fully buffed in this build with the 25%  buff, PvP leg armor, and a Flask of Stoneblood my hunter can top 40k health, which gives the healers a bit of leeway when you need to run through the ooze.

This setup accomplishes two things:

1) The healers have less heal targets to split their concentration.

Generally speaking, between the 10% kindred spirits running buff and the ability to start kiting from range, the hunter should never come into contact with the big ooze. The only time the hunter is going to need healing is the times when he’ll have to go through a corner of the room currently being swamped by slime from the tanks.

2) Everyone who isn’t a healer can hit the boss.

More DPS on the boss means a shorter fight, shorter fights mean less chance of something going wrong on accident. Nobody goes out of mana, less “Angry Poo-poo” events, and altogether a smoother ride.

Once threat is taken with Distracting shot, and a little bit of damage is put onto the ooze to maintain that threat, the hunter can just move by strafing around the room, damaging the boss with instant shots and occasionally re-stinging the big ooze. In fact, the biggest problem I had the first time I tried this is that I moved too fast for the big ooze and that tended to make it try pathing too close to the DPS pile while trying to catch up. Therefore, occasionally stop and channel a steady or two into Rot’s face. Problem solved. :)

Just keep in mind that when the hunter goes through the slime corner, there will be a need for some healing, so let your healers know when you’ll be entering green stuff. I usually have a druid who shadows me from within the little circle at the center by the boss. This keeps her in range for the times I go through ooze, and makes the fight go smoothly.

SO! I hope you enjoy experimenting with your Rotface setup, and may all your loot be legendary!


Chainmail Underpants is currently 10/12 in ICC. Wish us luck with Sindy!

*As with all generalizations, there are some cases that will fit, and exceptions that don’t. I do realize that perfectly good AIE members may go pugging, and that not everyone on ER actually hate the guild. Please drink responsibly, don’t operate heavy machinery, etc. ^^


A selection of Cata models that make me VERY happy.

July 6, 2010

There were a LOT of models posted to MMO Champion with the druid forms, and I just wanted to pull out a few that made me very happy and share them with you! In the spirit of a countdown, I’ll start with the things that make me somewhat happy, and end with the one that made me giggle for nigh 10 minutes straight! (Also, a word if you will, please don’t think me petty when we get to the last one, I’m hoping you’ll agree when we get there!) Remember, at any time just click the image to go to the full-sized image.

6. Monkeys. Proper monkeys, and not apes. Now, don’t mistake me for one of those people who loves monkeys and wants one as my very own pet, on the contrary I tend to hate monkeys. I’m not entirely sure why I loathe monkeys so much, it could be that they remind me too much of the very worst behavior in human children magnified times a billion (I like kids! Remember, I’ll be a teacher when I’m out of college… but you know not every 3-year-old in the restaurant is a perfect angel.). The screeching, absolute boundless energy, and the lack of discernible order in a troupe of monkeys gets to me after awhile. Granted, it could be the feces-throwing thing, too.

In any case, if I hate monkey so much, why does this make me happy? Well. I’m not entirely sure, but the art on these is good, and some part of me hopes they’re hunter tamable. (Edit: Via Petopia, these Monkey are, indeed, tamable and available in at least the goblin starter area.) I wouldn’t tame one for myself, but given a choice between having one of the in-game apes and having one of these, I’d take one of these. The thought of taking an ape as a hunter pet has always kind of disturbed me because gorilla-simian intelligence is so very near to our own. No, I don’t think they’re going to up and start designing robots any time soon; but the fact that we can train them to communicate with us in a language of our making is amazing. To take one along and make it fight for you like it was any other animal really makes me uncomfortable. It would be like making your 5-year-old sibling fight for you. They know what they’re doing and yet their love for you overcomes their fear or tendency to question their actions. It just seems like you’re using them more than a standard wolf or cat.

So yes, I’m happy for monkeys! Yay less creepy! (Maybe… !)

5. Skeletal Raptor Mounts. If nothing else, this will give the troll DKs something else to ride, right? Seriously though, I’m hoping that Etsu is right and these are something that you can get from Archeology at a 0.2% drop or something. The faces are a little odd, but any new kind of mount will only add to the variety out there, and your choice of mount really says something about you! I’m wondering what kinds of Rp might account for such a very strange and obviously reanimated creatures in your life. Perhaps the new troll warlocks can make use of them?

“Ja mon, me raptor didna want to run next tah ah demon, so ah… took care o’ the problehm.” *Lengthy evil chuckle session*

Seriously though, these look fun!

4. Unique Draenei paladin mounts. It’s funny, that Elekk looks a lot more… vertical? Than they usually do? Still though, been a long time coming guys, I can’t say that draenei on their paladin charger horse is a sight I’m used to seeing around Dal. The goat-men seem to stick to elekks even when ponies are handed to them, so I’m happy you guys don’t have to throw your digigrade legs over the side of those poor undersized animals again!

3. A Tauren Paladin Mount. Let me just say that Tauren on horses have always looked ridiculous. Yes, I’ve gotten Attumen’s mount and yes I’ve been using it… but that’s mostly because it’s new and the idea of it makes me happy. I’ve actually been carrying around a stack of Deviate Delight with me so that if I’m going to be doing a lot of riding, I can do it as a human in a pirate or ninja costume and not a tauren.

Additionally, it made me a bit unhappy to think of my future Sunwalker riding on a horse that reminds me so much of what the blood elves did (are doing still?) to that poor Naaru in Silvermoon. No thanks, I’ll walk.

The thing is, that tauren paladin kodo there isn’t the best of it…

2. The BEST Tauren Paladin Mount!! Now THIS one, this is pure win! This mount is absolutely gorgeous. The warpaint and feathers, the blue and gold bead work and normal mount’s lack of glowing eyes make this kodo my new favorite mount in the entire game. Where the epic mount was bogged down with a bunch of armor and drums and stuff because they could, this mount is decorative without being gaudy, and the simplicity and heart of those little sun glyphs make me smile every time I see it! Yes, I may actually be able to make a paladin I’ll be able to play, and the idea excites me greatly.

And now. The best of the best!

Are you ready? I mean, really ready? This is the thing that made me giggle for 10 minutes!

You SURE you’re ready?


OK… here goes….

I bring you GARROSH.

Oh no, I’m entirely serious. Are you laughing yet? You should be! Just… LOOK at him! I mean, yeah, he almost looks like a Mok’Nathal now but… wow. He just looks so… stupid. Which is entirely as it should be! Ever since that AAFL column, I can’t help but think of Garrosh screaming blood at Abesik Kampfire, and this model kind of portrays that image, no? And there’s no mistaking it for some other random orc/ogre/mok’nathal because he has his daddy’s jaw tattoo now.

Okay, okay. So ultimately, the tauren paladin normal mount -does- make me happier than Garrosh, but hey- I did it for comedic effect!

Have a great day and happy hunting!

-Mitawa of Earthen Ring